Back in the old days before there was a cellphone in every hand, internet in every room of every house and three or more social networking profiles for every man, woman and child in the world, friendship meant something.
Having a friend was, by definition and with no loopholes to escape it, being a friend. Friendship was a way of being. It meant you genuinely cared for the physical and emotional well-being of another individual just because they were who they were. Caring would always translate into doing. Whether it was helping to clean up a garden, babysitting, or just being a shoulder to cry on it was an action. Action full of sincerity. It also required awareness. If one friend went quiet the other would notice and find out why. When one friend asked another how they were doing, they genuinely wanted to know and cared if things weren't so great.
Friends felt obligated to help one another simply because it was the right thing to do. Not for a public pat on the back. Not for bragging rights. Not so that they could extort unpleasant favors out of the person at a later time.
Friends would stick up for you and protect you from bullies, even if that bully was yourself. A friend would tell you if you are being stupid, looking at things all wrong, or over reacting. A friend would point out your good and your bad traits and help you to overcome the bad. A friend would accept constructive criticism and appreciate the opportunity to perhaps become a better person.
Today the word friend refers to a thumbnail photo on a profile. Semi-anonymous blips on a screen that condone stupid behavior based on distorted subjective views of life. People you barely know that "lol" at dumb pics you post. Strangers who think it's funny when you insult someone they don't know. People who believe or at least accept the lies you post about yourself and/or others because it's the easy thing to do and they simply DO NOT CARE.
Friends are vague electronic nuances that entertain us and encourage our own stupidity. Allow us to wallow in self pity. Join in our hateful bashing of others. And waste our time challenging us in mindless "i have more friends than you" games within social networking sites.
Try this just once. Call on these individuals to help you move across town. Call on these individuals to loan you $30 so that your electricity doesn't get shut off. Call on these individuals when you need a ride to the dentist because you will be too medicated to drive home. Call on these individuals to care. Many people have 100's of "friends" online, but if put to the test they will find out that maybe a handful at best will actually rise to the challenge.
Now try this. Go through your buddy list and ask yourself about each person,"Do I really care about this person? What is their last name? What is their greatest fear? Do they have kids? What are their names? Do they have any health challenges? Am I willing to put forth any effort actually BEING a friend to them?"
So why do we call them friends? How long are you willing to lie to yourself to convince yourself and others that you aren't as selfish and uncaring as everyone else online?
Only thing more sad than the current state of friendship, is that family members, nowadays care even less than "friends".
People ask me why my buddy lists are small or non existent. I'll tell you. I just can't pretend to care about strangers that much. If they changed the "friends" list to "online contacts" or "online acquaintances" I would be willing to add plenty of people.
I do find plenty of people interesting to talk to, informative, or entertaining enough to want a quick link to their posts. But to call them a FRIEND? Why delude myself?
Written by: "Seagypsy"
Having a friend was, by definition and with no loopholes to escape it, being a friend. Friendship was a way of being. It meant you genuinely cared for the physical and emotional well-being of another individual just because they were who they were. Caring would always translate into doing. Whether it was helping to clean up a garden, babysitting, or just being a shoulder to cry on it was an action. Action full of sincerity. It also required awareness. If one friend went quiet the other would notice and find out why. When one friend asked another how they were doing, they genuinely wanted to know and cared if things weren't so great.
Friends felt obligated to help one another simply because it was the right thing to do. Not for a public pat on the back. Not for bragging rights. Not so that they could extort unpleasant favors out of the person at a later time.
Friends would stick up for you and protect you from bullies, even if that bully was yourself. A friend would tell you if you are being stupid, looking at things all wrong, or over reacting. A friend would point out your good and your bad traits and help you to overcome the bad. A friend would accept constructive criticism and appreciate the opportunity to perhaps become a better person.
Today the word friend refers to a thumbnail photo on a profile. Semi-anonymous blips on a screen that condone stupid behavior based on distorted subjective views of life. People you barely know that "lol" at dumb pics you post. Strangers who think it's funny when you insult someone they don't know. People who believe or at least accept the lies you post about yourself and/or others because it's the easy thing to do and they simply DO NOT CARE.
Friends are vague electronic nuances that entertain us and encourage our own stupidity. Allow us to wallow in self pity. Join in our hateful bashing of others. And waste our time challenging us in mindless "i have more friends than you" games within social networking sites.
Try this just once. Call on these individuals to help you move across town. Call on these individuals to loan you $30 so that your electricity doesn't get shut off. Call on these individuals when you need a ride to the dentist because you will be too medicated to drive home. Call on these individuals to care. Many people have 100's of "friends" online, but if put to the test they will find out that maybe a handful at best will actually rise to the challenge.
Now try this. Go through your buddy list and ask yourself about each person,"Do I really care about this person? What is their last name? What is their greatest fear? Do they have kids? What are their names? Do they have any health challenges? Am I willing to put forth any effort actually BEING a friend to them?"
So why do we call them friends? How long are you willing to lie to yourself to convince yourself and others that you aren't as selfish and uncaring as everyone else online?
Only thing more sad than the current state of friendship, is that family members, nowadays care even less than "friends".
People ask me why my buddy lists are small or non existent. I'll tell you. I just can't pretend to care about strangers that much. If they changed the "friends" list to "online contacts" or "online acquaintances" I would be willing to add plenty of people.
I do find plenty of people interesting to talk to, informative, or entertaining enough to want a quick link to their posts. But to call them a FRIEND? Why delude myself?
Written by: "Seagypsy"
This blog entry has been visited daily for several weeks now by a person or persons located in Moscow Russia. I don't mind the attention but since the blog is in English and I have no Russian friends, I am extremely curious as to why this entry is suddenly so popular there. If you are accessing this entry from Moscow please leave a comment and give me a clue of who you are. I will make the entry visible again only after I have gotten a response. Thanks, Seagypsy
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